The dictionary defines restructuring as:
"A significant modification made to the debt, operations or structure of a company. This type of corporate action is usually made when there are significant problems in a company, which are causing some form of financial harm and putting the overall business in jeopardy. The hope is that through restructuring, a company can eliminate financial harm and improve the business."
Stefoni defines restructuring as:
"scrambling".
On June 3rd I lost my job at Woods. I'm going to Tarantino this for you real quick...
The day was a day unlike any other day. It was frustrating and monotonous. When I clocked in, I got my morning coffee and proceeded to doing my work. A new hire came in mid-day and was getting the general "show you around the office" tour. When the manager doing this didn't stop into my office to introduce the new hire to me, I knew something was kind of fishy. In addition to this being strange, earlier in the week I had asked one of the managers if we had any positions open that my mom could apply for. I explained that my family had fallen on hard times and we had been going to the food pantry because things had been so grim for us. With a tilted frown, she said, "No, not at the moment. All the positions have been filled for the office." I continued on with the day, kind of disappointed because I felt so bad for my mom.
So on June 3rd, I went home for lunch and told my mom I was so frustrated that if "all the positions in the office were filled" then why was there a new hire in the office? She told me to brush it off and to move on, that this type of thing always happened and I shouldn't expect anything different. My feelings were hurt, but she was right. So I traveled back to the office to finish out the day.
Mail call. A nice lady in the Accounting Department always delivered the mail in the afternoon and she brought me a small letter from the American Cancer Society. I tore it open and read:
"Dear Stephanie, Thank you so much for all that you do for Relay...as a team captain and on the [marketing] committee. I cannot thank you enough for all the time and effort you put into the event & the help you give anyone who needs it. You are the best! Thank you again - I appreciate you so much!"
Wow. How caring and considerate was this note, I thought. The letter gave me some pep and my frown started to transform into a smile. About this time, my boss came in. He was popping around town, helping our local chamber get things ready for the Horseradish Festival. We exchanged pleasantrys like we normally did and then he headed back towards the back end of the office to check his email. (His computer had been broke for about a good 3 weeks, so he was using a computer in the back). I needed his input on a video I was editing, so I traveled towards the back to grab him for help. When I found him, he was standing at the copier with our I.T. guy.
Now, you know when you come up on someone and you catch them in the middle of talking about you? Yeah, that's what happened.
They quickly silenced their conversation and my boss answered my question. I headed back to my part of the office, puzzled and nervous. Low and behold, not 10 minutes later, my boss came back to our office. He said, "Hey, come with me upstairs." I said, "Is everything ok?" and he said, "Just come" and motioned for me to follow.
This is never good.
We headed upstairs and I felt my insides twist into knots. The manager looked at me with the same tilted frown I had seen earlier that week. He explained to me that the company was "restructuring" their Marketing Department and that they were going to have to let me go. I thought it was a joke (because my boss would occasionally joke with me like this) and I even said, "Ok, really, what's up?". It wasn't a joke and I was dismissed to pack my desk and leave. I felt warm tears running down my face and feelings of worthlessness taking over my mind.
I felt thrown out, backstabbed, used, and like the past 4 1/2 years I had delivered them nothing less than 110%, didn't mean anything. My heart was completely broken.
I was so numb while I was putting the past 4 1/2 years of my life into a box. To make matters worse, people hid behind doors to avoid having to deal with my feelings. The "friends" persona was no more - the jig was up and only doors could hide this truth. My boss, whom I held close to my heart like a father figure could only watch me fall to pieces. He helped me out the door to load my working career into my car. Tears pouring out of my eyes like someone had turned on a kitchen sink, I gave him probably our last hug ever and told him that he was the most fantastic boss that I had ever had the pleasure to work for. I told him that I hoped that his next employee appreciated him as much as I did. He said the same to me.
Moderately hyperventilating, I drove away.
These past few weeks have been some of the hardest weeks of my life to get through. I'm still so confused, so hurt, so broken. Why didn't they offer me another position in the office? I'm cross trained in almost every department, so why didn't they offer me something? What did I do wrong? How could they do this to me when they know that my family is struggling so hard right now? I thought we were friends. I've never been let go from a job before and I've always been a shining example to employees; why did this happen to me?
So currently, you could say I'm "restructuring" my life and trying to figure out how to survive after the fall out of getting fired. This is one of the hardest, most grim times in my life to date.
