We celebrated Christmas at Nick and I's apartment this year, because last year was such a bad year. My mom, dad, Ismael, Ash and Nick all were at the apartment and we watched movies, opened presents and played games. It was really nice. The next morning, my mom made a really delicious breakfast and we watched it snow while we ate. It was pretty.
We celebrated my 25th on the landing and at some of the usual places we used to hit whenever we went out alot. It was pretty much non-stop shenanigans...and at one point I got on stage at the Big Bang and sang a collection of Queen songs. Narf.
See me, above...I think that was the point where I realized, "Wow...my life is a cartoon.". Speaking of New Years (cuz that's my birthday, durrr) we also hosted New Years at our place. It was a really great time; surrounded by our bestest friends, ringing in the new year. Sad for me kinda, cuz when the ball drops, you know...everyone kisses their bf's and gf's. Me, I kissed my hand.
When I look at these pictures of hanging out with my buddies, my mind plays like a 1950's drive through suburbia tune, kinda like the background music of "Billy Brown" by Mika. That makes me really smile.I've been having a really hard time keep my New Years resolutions; and really, I wouldn't call the "new years resolutions" cuz they weren't. They were just things that I wanted to do for the well-being of myself. I keep trying to quit smoking and I'll go a few good days without smoking, then I'll bottom out. Ugh. Last night Ash and I signed a contract for Golds Gym, which we're canceling tomorrow. Not because we're not going to get a gym membership, we're definitely getting one - we were just kinda tricked into signing at Golds. It was shady to the max. So hopefully whatever place we choose will help me get closer to my goal weight and closer to finding a mate.
Turning 25 makes me ill because lots of people that I know are married; and it's not like I "want" to be married right now, because I don't. However, the last semi-serious boyfriend that I had was a total douche and I can't seem to make that connection. I'm just scared that I'm going to end up alone. I have real mean thoughts about people that get married when they're really not in love...but that's not necessary to bring up, because it'll just piss people off and that's not my goal here. I just think it's stupid to get married to someone if you think you're at "marrying" age. No stupid, get married when you are crazy in love with someone. Like my sis, I know she's crazy in love with her boyfriend, so I get it. I know the spark and I've only felt it with 2 people and until I feel that again, I won't even consider someone tying me down.
Just because I'm 25 doesn't mean I want to have babies. I want to pursue my career, I want to party, I want to travel. So keep your rings away from me...but love will generously be accepted.
I don't want to get married anymore cuz Ismael's a douche!
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